Feeling ‘Sarah’.

I’ve been DYING to blog, man how does time just go so quickly? When Marceline was new born I found so much time to write, she would be on my boob’s for so long I could get a post out or she’d nap for ages so I could edit or blog! Now she’s approaching 6 months and I feel my days fading fast, I can even feel work approaching soon, sob. I’ve managed to keep the weekly breastfeeding stories coming but I’ve actually had to make a list of things I’d like to blog about, the personal ones. This one I feel would have came out a lot different had I wrote it back when it came into my mind, since then a lot has changed to make me feel more, me.

Originally I was feeling all the feels, the lost soul of Sarah, where had she gone? Postpartum body, breastfeeding, hair loss, looking after 2 littles, house stuff, the list is LONG. Anyway after I had Loralai I went through stages, first off my body had just given birth so I was loving me some comfy clothes, I then went through this awkward stage of wearing baggy clothes, like too baggy. I then transitioned to skinny jeans and baggy tee’s until one day I was like ‘woo, Sarah, where have you gone?’ Out came all my usual clothes and what not, then I felt more me, it took time but, I came back. So this time I was kind of prepared for that to happen, well in some ways. In my head I was thinking ‘I won’t do that again’ but yeah, yeah I did.

I’m currently a size 14, my boob’s are crazy HUGE, like they hurt my back so bad. And I’m not stupid, I know I’ve just grown a baby and this time I really did just chill and not give AF about what I eat or what I wore. But there comes a time, for me at least, where I started to miss myself. Of course I’m still here, I am still into all the things I love, I just don’t have the time, the freedom and things to come and go as I please. I need to add in that this isn’t me complaining, I’m just finding my feet again. I decided a few weeks back to eat a bit healthier, to go out for some long walks, in general just – get out more. And to my surprise I’ve lost a stone in weight, I’m usually a size 10 so none of my clothes fit me right now, I had that funny stage where my maternity clothes became too big but there was no way I was ready to get back into my old things so I went shopping, and since then I’ve shopped twice. I’m hoping that’s it now and that I’ll slowly get back into my other things. But breastfeeding makes it hard for me to dress, in my style that is.

So I was going to write about not feeling ‘Sarah’ but I AM FEELING MYSELF right now, two new pairs of glasses, woo my eyes had changed. This was step one, I got crazy amounts of confidence back once I got some new specs, I even ditched the contacts (which I live for, usually) at a wedding I went to recently, all because I was loving me some ‘Sarah in specs’.

Who am I??

Next I finally, like nearly 2 whole years later … Got my hair cut. In an ACTUAL salon too, and I loveee it. I’ve never had it like this but omg hello second huge boost of confidence, again who am I? It’s made me realise how important it is for self care, even the small things, remaining you is IMPORTANT. And it’s ok to take time out, growing and then nurturing a baby can definitely take it’s toll. But I’ve got to say I’m so happy to be feeling more me, my next plan is to get a new tattoo, it’s been too long, well in my mind it has since I’m used to a couple a year. I’m on mission health too, no pressure or time frames but I do want to feel happy in my own skin, be it stretched and different. I’d still like to get back into some of my fave clothes, I’ve spent a long time on that wardrobe.

So I’m sharing some old and new pics of me because I have grown two humans and I’m going to remind myself (hopefully you lot too) that your always beautiful, always.

And of course I have to show off my new found confidence with my new specs and hair …

SELF CARE AND LOVE, YOU DESERVE IT.

 

 

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